5 golfing tips for the uncoordinated

1) Do it
I actually believe that I am not much worse than the average at sports. The problem is that most people with my level of ability have the sense to give up rather than show themselves up. But should they? Why should taking part in any sporting activity be the exclusive preserve of those who are good at it? And why should taking up a sport put some kind of onus on the individual to become expert in their chosen field? We put far too much value on being the best and far too little on just taking part, this is why the majority of us end up as spectators instead of participants and top professional sports people are paid absurd amounts of money. I have a personal interest in promoting this because if others with my lack of skill persevered, I could take my rightful place as only just sub-standard instead of being totally useless.
2) Do it abroad
I'm now playing golf in Malaysia. The people here are far too polite to laugh outright at my often pathetic attempts at the game and, where in New Zealand I was often the butt of cruel jokes about the standard of my play, here my understanding of the local language is far from good enough to comprehend any insults spoken. They do sometimes ask how long I have been playing the game, thinking that I'm a beginner who will improve, and I have to own up to not being able to use learner status as an excuse as I first wielded a club 50 years ago.

3) Less is more
The harder you try the worse it gets. A career in social work has taught me that problems quickly become crises when the response to them feeds what caused the issue in the first place and a vicious cycle is established. It is annoying when a shot destined for the centre of the green doesn't even get off the ground, but a determination to give the ball an almighty hit is bound to result in greater failure and more frustration leading to a need to belt the thing regardless of the consequences. And this is all because of this totally unfair expectation that if you choose to play a game you must be reasonably competent at it. If it weren't for that I wouldn't have to feel the acute embarrassment at my failure which forces me to try too hard resulting in a total loss of control over my own body. And that is the problem, when your body refuses to do as it is told:
'keep your head down' right
'look at the ball' yes
'swing slowly' okay
whack fuck!
4) Be proud
Sport should be played for fun, winning or losing isn't important; especially when you're no good at it. Those of us lacking hand eye co-ordination can lead the way in championing the proper spirit of sportsmanship while the top players curse their luck and vent their anger on their equipment. Glory in being rubbish, take the high moral ground and remember that those at the top can only move in one direction. What would it be like to be the best at your chosen activity and expected to beat all-comers? I think that then the fear of losing would creep in and threaten to spoil any enjoyment of the game, an issue which I'm sure the All Blacks are currently acutely conscious of.
5 Most important) Do as I say: not as I do

Red menace

The holiday a fortnight ago to celebrate Malaysia's independence was dominated by demonstrators in yellow shirts. Yesterday's holiday had demonstrators in red shirts. Apparently these people are pro government which, ironically as this was meant to be a celebration of unity in the country, can equate to pro Islam and pro Malay (as opposed to Malaysian Chinese and Indian). I was reminded of the political system here this morning as I walked past a cafe advertising porridge with crispy fried innards.
There's little evidence of the clothing companies doing so well in Britain but I did enjoy watching the Labour Party leadership on the BBC world news. At one point the ribbon of writing at the bottom had Corbyn news listed as 'sport' and I was pleased that it wasn't clashing with the Rugby World Cup. The establishment would have us believe that radical policies will never win an election but in the past things have changed; 100 years ago the country was not a proper democracy as less than half the population were enfranchised, 75 years ago most British people couldn't afford a nutritious diet, died for want of money to pay medical bills and a decent education was seen as a privilege and not a right. 50 years ago we were into the Wilson/Heath years and, well, since then nothing of any real significance has happened in British politics.
China has gone from the Cultural Revolution to unfettered capitalism, with the break up of the Soviet Union Russia has moved from being a planned economy to a criminal one, Germany has re-unified, the USA has progressed from Jim Crow (apartheid) laws to electing a black president and Britain is just same same; maybe a shake up is overdue.
In other news my book is now available as a paperback from https://www.createspace.com/5714720 or from Amazon.

The Law of the Jungle

The rolling English drunkard who built the rolling English road got utterly rat-arsed before going up to Bukit Fraser; there are more twists and turns than Agatha Christie could ever imagine and at the top could be Miss Marple’s village. Except of course for the monkeys. We stayed in an olde worlde English inn but lost the contents of the fruit bowl by leaving the window in our room open.

While we were enjoying the climate at an altitude a bit higher than anywhere in Britain, others dressed in yellow T shirts which the government banned the day before, were sweating it out in Kuala Lumpur’s Merdeka Square where they were demonstrating their unhappiness about reports that the Prime Minister had trousered $700 million he had found lying around (see blog Cracking Malaysia 30^th July). This action, although totally peaceful, has backfired as the police are now using all their resources to track down the uncouth protesters who stood on a picture of the PM, which according to The Star seems to be far more serious than worrying about that odd bit of money that has been mislaid.

We continued our holiday week-end with a trip to the jungle and read in The Star (which is majority owned by one of the political parties in the government alliance), that a woman had been arrested on suspicion of releasing yellow balloons from the upper floors of a building where the PM and his wife were attending an event. The charge is intentional insult with intent to provoke a breach of the peace. In the Taman Negara they know how to breach the peace. We tried out a blow pipe that the locals use to hunt monkeys once they have added the poison from one of the rain forest trees. The law of the jungle applies to some but not to all in Malaysia.